Always
by CatchingFireFast
Summary: My version on Katniss being hijacked instead of Peeta, please read
1. I don't belong here

The harder she scratched away at her forearm, the quicker the flesh fell away...

* * *

From the outside of the containment unit Dr. Miles watched on in dismay as his patient Katniss Everdeen destroyed her arm.

Not being able to witness anymore of the violent behavior he called for Katniss to be sedated, preventing her from harming herself any further and allowing the medics to treat and bandage her arm.

Dr. Miles didn't know what happened to her, just that she had been in the capitol, injected with meds that would keep her awake 24/7, and with tracker jacker venom.

After sedation wore off Katniss seemed to be a bit calmer so Dr. Miles tried asking her who she was.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen, I'm 17 and don't belong here. I need to get home I have a little sister. My mother is going to be worried about me."

She explained in a hurry as if someone was just about to take her voice away.

"Okay Katniss, do you have a friend we can call to get you home? "

" No.. no one.. they can't be trusted"

" Not even Peeta?"

" Peeta is a no good back stabbing mutt." Katniss laughs

Even after she said that Dr. Miles calls the bakery, explaining Katniss's situation not mentioning that she hates Peeta or anything like that.

Mr. Mellark agrees to pick her up from the hospital for her mother and take her home.

* * *

Katniss's POV :

I didn't want to go back to the bakery, I learned the truth and the truth is that Peeta couldn't give a shit about me, he wanted me dead they all wanted me dead that's why I was left in the arena.

Before leaving the hospital I am given a dose of tranquilizers that make me sleepy and woozy.

He killed everyone in 12 he is responsible for destroying everything..

After I sit in the back of Mr. Mellark's van I promise Dr. Miles I will call if I need anything...

* * *

I know this is short but I wanted to get something out tonight after watching Catching fire for the 100th time (it seems to inspire me to write) so I'd consider this a preview/ really short chapter.

I've got no ideas for my "You not as different as you think you are" story, I have like half of chapter 2 written but I need more ideas..

Anyway... leave a comment and like my story plz thanks! :)


	2. Why?

It took minutes to get to the bakery, but what were minutes now seemed like hours and what were hours seemed like days to Katniss.

Mr. Mellark asked Rye to look after her when he parked the van in the garage, who took her inside to get some water and maybe something to eat.

After a minute of being in the house Katniss began to ask questions like why couldn't she go home? where was her mother? and was Prim okay?

Questions that were met with sufficient answers but to be honest Katniss might never be able to see her mother or Prim again.

Ever since the accident that killed her father their mother never really was very stable, some days are better then others some were a mix between both.

Katniss provided for them after their father was killed so herself and Prim wouldn't be sent to a orphanage but that was during her mothers darkest depressing days. Thankfully her father taught her how to use a bow so she could hunt for fresh meat to cook and trade at the hob for necessary supplies.

The truth is that her mother is too reminded of their father to see Katniss right now, Prim is afraid she might shut everyone out again and then she would have no one.. not her sister or their mother and she wasn't about to loose either one.

* * *

Peeta's POV :

Katniss came home today, early this morning to be exact. Rye got her food and stuff to drink, I might try making her cheese buns to hopefully bring back memories of better times.

I hate Snow for what he did to her and for everything he's taken from her Dr. Miles is working to get her back but we've been told It might not be a full recovery.

I miss those nights on the train and maybe she remembers them too.. maybe she misses them just as much as I do.

* * *

He couldn't see her yet, she still was fragile to things that had to do with Peeta. but that wouldn't mean anything soon. Peeta was convinced that she will get better that things will go back to normal.

They have to.. right ?

* * *

Okay So another short chapter :( i promise a longer one next time. it might be out on Saturday I need to write in the morning and evening because school and life get busy at times haha :)


	3. Get You Back

More of Peeta's POV :

Things are different, and for the most part it looks like they might stay that way forever but that doesn't mean I won't stop trying to get her back.

When Snow took Katniss, he took my heart away from me... it nearly killed me thinking about what she might be going through and if she was ever save at any point before being rescued and sent to Dr. Miles for treatment before coming home to us.

It's been a week and a half since her return and nothing much has happened. Her little sister Prim comes and goes, every time she visits and I see her she tells me of Katniss's progress and I can see in that little girl hope that her sister is going to be okay like before all of this shit Snow has put us though.

" She's still not up to seeing you, sorry Peeta"

I don't know why she thinks she has to apologize to me but she tries her best to give everyone hope that Katniss will come back to us.

"It's okay little duck" I instantly realize I shouldn't have said that when her eyes swell with tears.

"I'm so sorr-"

"It's okay Peeta.. I know you didn't mean it"

Prim cuts me off trying not to burst into tears.. I can't say I'm not close to breaking down myself but I need to be strong for her.. I know Katniss would want her to be brave.

I instantly pull her into a tight hug and feel her hugging back tighter, crying into my shirt but I don't mind.. Katniss was right,

This is all my fault.

* * *

Food is made, places are set and pie is cooling on the counter in the kitchen.

Peeta won't eat with the family tonight, it's been routine that he eats up in his room, painting pictures of Katniss in happier times.

Katniss on the other hand eats at the table, it's part of her recovery which is progressing by baby steps. Although baby steps are better then nothing.

Katniss's POV:

I'ts been a week and a half and I haven't seen Peeta. Half of me hopes they found that mutt and punished him to full extent but the other half wants to thank him.

I don't know what to believe anymore I'm trapped and I feel like these people are going to give me away at any moment like I'm an animal on display.

I make a plan to escape after dinner and as soon as it's over I plan to follow through.

After I'm excused from the table I head to one of the bedrooms.. one that looks like it's been used as storage for some paintings. I grab the rope I made out of sheets and just as I'm about to descend out the window someone grabs my arm.

"Whoa what are you doing?"

I'm met with a pair of beautiful blue eyes which cause conflict inside of me because for some reason I want to push him out this window and then again I want him to save me.

" Leave me alone" I growl as I pull my arm out of his grip.

"Katniss I know you hate me I know Snow hurt you and I know I don't have a choice because people keep telling me that I should get over you and for some reason I can't .. so no I don't have a choice but I still choose you Katniss I choose you I'm not afraid of you... even if you're afraid of me"

He spills his heart out and all I can wonder is why isn't he killing me right now ?

"Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

" I know that for you to love me as much as you think you do is impossible.. and I only hope that some day I can love you as much as you say you loved me"

* * *

Okay so a bit longer then the last one and I hope you enjoy :) remember any feedback is always welcome! also remember follow this story for updates!


	4. I'm Sorry

That's the thing, it's all you can say to someone who doesn't remember things you remember..

* * *

It makes you want to give up and walk away from everything we've had. Times we shared that gives the ones we love the most hope that one day we will return to them.

It's been almost a month since Katniss arrived home.. about two weeks since the encounter in the old room full of paintings and things haven't been moving as quickly as everyone hoped.

Improvements are made. Baby steps. It's better then moving backwards into possibly darker places.

Since the encounter with Peeta the Mellark family had developed a game for Katniss's questions.. it's called Real or not Real.

Katniss thinks she remembers something, if she's not sure that it acutally happened or not she'll ask someone if the memory is real or not.

Thanks to everyone and their patience plus being eager to help it has been working out for now.

Progress proves that giving up is not an option..

Katniss's POV:

I've been here in this house with him for a month. I know Peeta.. as much as I still strain trying not to say he's a mutt trying to keep that 2nd voice in my head trying to convince me he is quiet. And his family are trying to make me as comfortable as possible.

I'm grateful for all of them..everyone who has tried to help me or visited to welcome me home and ask how I was doing, even if they already knew the answer.

I try talking to Peeta once or twice a week, asking him how things are, asking him questions about memories that I needed to know if they were real or not

One of these questions actually made him tear up.

"Peeta,I know you said you loved me and I said I only hoped to love you as much as you remembered me loving you."

"yeah Katniss"

"Do you still love me?... You love me.. Real or not real?"

"Of course I do. Nothing will ever change that ever I promise you."

"Peeta that's not what I asked"

"What do you mean? I answered the question didn't I?"

"No. I asked you-"

There was a long pause before I finished my question

"You still love me.. Real or not real?"

"Katniss-"

"NO PEETA NO BULLSHIT SPEECH I KNOW YOU'RE THE BEST AT THAT BUT I NEED TO KNOW JUST REAL OR NOT REAL?"

I noticed the tears In his eyes and decided to back off a little.

"Sorry I didn't mean to snap at you"

He finally broke another long period of silence.

"Real. Very Real"


	5. I Don't deserve You

She couldn't figure out after all they've been through why he still loved her.. why he continues to love her even after all the pain and tears.

Haymitch was right she could live a hundred lifetimes and still never deserve Peeta. Why was she fighting his love?

She pushes him away and he doesn't leave he just keeps staying with her because Peeta knows the old Katniss is still in there somewhere.

Peeta's POV:

"Do you think it's easy for me Katniss? to see you like this to see what Snow has done to you?

It was so damn hard because she still doesn't know the effect she has.

"You know.. sometimes I think that this whole thing would be easier if I was dead Peeta. Snow wants me dead you want me dead and I was supposed to die in the arena, it's the rule remember? One victor from each district... stop fighting for me and just kill me already okay?"

"It's so hard Katniss... for me for everyone why doesn't your mother come see you? she can't after what he did to you not your mom not Gale not Prim not me not my family no one is at fault except for Snow."

"Leave Prim and them out of this Peeta. They'd be better off anyway, Snow wouldn't have reason to kill them if I was dead."

"Katniss-"

"Peeta I need you to stop and listen for once I need you to let go. I don't deserve you Haymitch even said that himself and he's right I don't deserve you or the way you love me I know it's hard but I need you to okay? I don't want to be like Annie and Finnick. I don't want to be helpless like that don't you get it? It's not what I'm used to and I'd rather die then let Snow see me like this. I need you kill me or get Gale and tell him to bring his bow."

I saw tears welled up in her eyes.

"I love you. Real. But did you ever think that it was me that didn't deserve you Katniss?"

after that for the first time in a long time Katniss wrapped her arms around my waist as I did the same to her and it was the tightest hug she's ever given I think it was the tightest she was capable of giving me

"You love me Peeta.. Real or not real?"

"Real.. Very real. you love me? real or not real?"

It took her a minute but what she said while hugging me was enough to make my heart beam with hope.

"Real"

* * *

End POV

There was no way Peeta was going to allow Katniss to commit suicide.. she didn't see that if she died Snow would win. The old Katniss would never go for that so he made their families vow to keep a watchful eye on her.

It was mid-afternoon and Peeta was having a conversation with Rye, Haymitch and Finnick.

"So how's the girl on fire?"

Haymitch was drunk as usual.

"Not good Haymitch,she wants to commit"

"Marriage? thought you two were married already."

"NO HAYMITCH she wants to commit suicide. She thinks if she does Snow will leave us and he family alone."

"Bull."

Rye is just as frustrated, Haymitch managed to fall asleep in two seconds and Finnick is practicing his knots that he showed Katniss a few days ago.

"I have an idea boy..."

That drunk takes a long swig out of his glass before continuing.

"You're already married right? Get an apartment and move in together"

"How does that help in any way possible?"

"It gives you two time to bond together again and the girl will feel less needy and naggy of everyone."

"Brilliant"

Everyone Agrees even though no one knows how it will work.  
it's night when our conversation ends.  
Tomorrow we go apartment hunting.

* * *

End of another chapter :) Hopefully you'll like it. Haymitch and Finnick make an apperance in this one and Annie is briefly mentioned.. also Rye and the others will pop in and out of the story if you couldn't tell by now hahaha don't forget to leave any comments you might have


	6. I'm Falling Apart

Sorry I've been on break for writing because of Easter and stuff.. hope you all had a good Easter btw Just a little heads up, this chapter is going to be completly Peeta's POV while he's looking for a apartment! :)

Next chapter for sure will be 1,000+ words I know I keep saying that but this time I'm sticking to it I just wanted to get something up tonight for everyone!

Follow me on instagram and I'll follow back asap: Cakepopbieber

(Some lyrics from Lifehouse's "Broken" is on this chapter I own nothing same goes for the Hunger games I own nothing.)

* * *

It's a new day, a promising day. The sun is so bright it might actually blind me. It's not as warm as I'd like it to be but that barely has any effect on me.

I get dressed for the day, ask my father to be excused of work at the bakery and he allows it ... unlike mother... I began to make myself a little bit of raisin toast with a smudge of butter on top and head out the door.

Today I have one thing on my mind. Finding an apartment for Katniss and I.

God only knows how she will take it but I hope she likes it I don't want to push her into anything so we'll see.

the first one is a small two bedroom apartment near the bakery, easy to keep an eye on I think this one is perfect compared to the other three bedroom apartment about twenty blocks from the bakery.

I make an offer on the two bedroom and head back to the bakery to tell everyone Katniss and I wouldn't need to stay with them anymore.

Katniss is sitting at the table when I walk in

"Hey Katniss guess where I was?"

"Where?"

"Finding us an apartment I made a offer on a cozy two bedroom place close to here about a block away."

"Peeta I appreciate the thought I really do.. but you know it will never work"

"We can-"

"NO Peeta we can't anymore I can't anymore I'm a fucking burden to everyone I'm falling apart.. I'm barley breathing with a broken heart that's still beating"

"Katniss I know that but I need you don't you remember in the arena the beach when I said nobody needs me.. and you said that it wasn't true that you needed me well now It's my turn Katniss it's my turn to need you and I'll keep holding onto what we have. Dr Miles is helping I'm helping you're not a burden to anyone we want to help."

"You can't help me now Peeta.. nobody can."

"Well you know what Katniss? sitting here and sulking about this whole thing and feeling sorry for everything you've done is like letting Snow win and the Katniss I knew would never do that so you're gonna pick your ass up and come look at the apartment with me."

rather then storming out of the room like she'd done so many times before she stayed quiet for about 15 minutes.

"You suck"

"Why?"

"Because you're right"

she admitted as she wiped her tears away.

I took her face in my hands and wiped them for her, kissing her forehead then her lips.

"Sorry I made you cry"

"You didn't Peeta I'm just stressed,anyway let me get dressed and we'll head out to the apartment you want me to see."

We both smiled and she went to put on shorts and a t-shirt before we headed out the door.


	7. Forever

They arrive at the apartment and as Peeta opens the door he sees that Katniss is in tears.

"What's wrong?"

"You're trying so hard to make me happy Peeta... from the beginning when I didn't remember who you really were when I thought you were going to hurt me but you didn't and you didn't leave me or kill me like I wanted you to. You stayed."

"Remember what I said on the train? you couldn't sleep you woke up screaming and I ran in asking what was wrong and it was a nightmare so I was going back to my room and you asked me if I would stay and I did."

"Yes"

"Remember what I said after that? after you asked me.."

"You said you would stay forever and you did."

They both smiled and Katniss dried her tears once more before looking around the apartment with Peeta. It had a nice kitchen, two bedrooms each with their own bathroom,and a nice sized living room.

Agreeing that it was perfect to live in the two moved in the next day. Peeta hung some paintings in the living room,it was agreed that their family would speak to them only if it was an emergency as Katniss wanted privacy.

The first night of being on their own Peeta made cheese buns and lamb stew for dinner.. Katniss's favorite things

" Peeta?"

"Yeah Katniss?"

" Why do you keep trying? why don't you just give up? you're never going to win this war it's my war Peeta not yours and I can't understand why you would risk everything just to keep me in your life."

"Katniss if you're going to tell me to k-"

"YES Peeta freaking kill me already or give me something to do it if you're going to be such an ass and not help me Peeta because if you really loved me and cared and wanted to help me you would've done what I asked you to already but you try and keep giving me these reasons not to or distracting me from the truth and I can't keep thinking about it I mean it's not like this is the first time I've brought it up."

Katniss was right, after all she seemed to want this more then anything but right now she wasn't thinking normally. Right now she was fighting some sort of capitol power explained it once but to be truthful no one was exactly paying much attention to him.

"You're not thinking right Katni-"

"DAMN STRAIGHT PEETA I'M NOT HELL I'M TRUSTING YOU.. A MUTT A CAPITOL MUTT I'M TRUSTING A CAPITOL MUTT."

Her eyes went from that beautiful grey to a darker more sinister color, Peeta watched as the real Katniss tried to force her words rather then the harsh ones coming out in place of them.

In a way he knew that she was hurting too and he knows she doesn't mean this but the words the capitol programmed into her. Those fake words cut deeper into his feelings then he allows, maybe she was right there was no getting her back, what was next? would she be deemed unstable by the doctors and eventually have a life in a padded cell?

From now on he would need to help her control her "triggers" for fear if someone saw these violent screaming fits they would be back to square one, Katniss being the one pumped full of tranquilizers and medication.

That night he had set up pillows and blankets on the couch for himself to sleep since he still needed to move his bed in his own room,once he was settled he put the T.v on but on a low volume to keep from waking Katniss up, getting up for water he noticed a small shadow in one of the bedrooms.

"Can't sleep?"

startling the shadow that was staring out the window.

"Oh...no no I'm good just not sleepy"

"You know that's the same thing right?"

"Very funny Peeta Bread"

"Nice name Kat."

"Why don't they visit me?"

"Who?"

"Everybody,Prim Gale Effie Haymitch my mother why don't they visit me? do they think I'm not capable of having people to talk to? I know I told them I needed privacy but they usually ignore that so do they think I went crazy like Annie?"

"I can't answer that Katniss.. I'm sorry"

She stays quiet for a few minutes, looking at the stars in the sky.

"Well Katniss I'm gonna head to bed, goodnight."

"Wait Peeta.. I'm sorry for being like that earlier."

"It's okay I know it must be hard so don't worry about it."

There's silence again and I see tears in her eyes, not the sinister blackened color but that beautiful grey that's always been there.

"Would you.. would you stay with me so I can sleep?"

This makes Peeta's heart beat a million times faster.

"I I'll stay as long as you need me even if it's forever.. I love you Katniss."

There he goes again dumping his heart out.. as he lays with his arms around her keeping her warm and safe from any and everything he hears a little whisper..

"I love you too Peeta."

* * *

Finally A new chapter! sorry I haven't been getting around to writing because I have been playing this story out on the Sims 3 and I promised a longer chapter so here it is.. hopefully I'll update sooner from now on


	8. The Truth Will always find you

-Katniss POV -

I get everyone is trying to help me remember who I was..who I still am in some ways. It's hard to let them into my world, my mixed up crazy world and yet they're trying even harder the more I push them away, especially Peeta.

The sun is shining in from the window and a slight breeze is flowing in because Peeta must have gotten up and opened it last night. He never could sleep in a room without the window open even if it was just a crack it still helped him sleep.

As much as I hated to admit it,Peeta was my open window. Just as he needed that open window I needed him to know I was safe. The capitol took that away Snow took that away from me they all took my whole world when I was there.

It still haunts me so I get out of bed careful not to wake Peeta, I grab a piece of paper and some of Peeta's paint.. red paint.

"Pain. Hurt. Confusion." I wrote on the paper with a old brush and when I saw those words I couldn't help but let it all out so I promised myself that Snow would pay for what he's done to me to all of us. I grab a few more pieces of paper and begin to write my letter I would later convince myself I would have the guts to actually send to the capitol.

_If you think you can get away with what you did to us not only to Peeta and I but to all of the victims of the Hunger Games you must be joking. Don't kid yourself Snow, this is not over and I promise you that the truth will find you, the truth behind the games behind everything even behind why you wear those sickening white roses._

It's a rough draft at best but at least it's something I've done to release some anger for that monster. By the time I'm finished Peeta is awake

"Did you sleep okay?

" Yeah, fine.. thanks for asking"

"You know usually the other person returns the whole how did you sleep question"

I take a moment to decide if I'm going to actually be mad at him for that remark.

" Yes Peeta so how did the wittle baby sweep"

trying my best to mock his humor with that sentence, instead I'm met with those blue eyes. Those perfect blue eyes.

"You're Peeta you're the baker's son you like painting, you have beautiful blue eyes, your favorite color is orange not like effie's hair... more like the sunset."

"Katniss you okay?"

"Who? yeah okay."

Little did Peeta know at this very moment I was having a relapse I was forgetting who I was where I came from and why I was even here.

" You sure you're okay Katniss?"

"Who's Katniss Peeta?"

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Okay small chapter just so you get a little update on this story :)


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